Watch this space because change is a-comin’…
Change you can believe in…
all new website coming soon…
all new Venture Bros season four coming soon
all new Titan Maximum eps coming soon
oh yeah and that show with the Chicken Who Fell To Earth/Clockwork Orange opening credits that some of you seem to like… We got the last few eps of Season Four of that one too.
Coming sooooooooooon…
Now I may only be a fortnight old but that doesn’t mean I’m oblivious to what’s going on in the world – and there’s something that I want to get off my very small chest. Astrology, what’s that all about? It’s a load of old tosh, that’s what. I hate to be a killjoy and a cynic-before-my-years but the idea that the movements and positions of celestial bodies can provide information about personality, human affairs and stuff that happens down here on Earth is at least laughable and at most bordering on lunacy.
Ooh, I’m so lonely, will I ever find the One, someone who’ll love me for who I am, who’ll worship the very ground I walk upon, who’ll walk with me through life and never let me go? I know, I’ll pick up a newspaper and find out.
My job’s at a standstill; my boss doesn’t appreciate just how hard I work, I’m always getting looked over for promotion, all the best tasks are given to people with far less experience and talent than myself. Should I get my head down and persevere or should I seek alternative employment?
Here’s a good idea, I’ll pay £1.50 per minute from a BT landline (calls from mobiles and other networks may vary) and get my career back on track.
Madness, absolute madness.
By way of example, here’s mine for today, courtesy of a well-known celestial tabloid:
CAPRICORN Dec 22 – Jan 20
Make the most of this week, these opportunities may not come round again as quickly as you think. Close ones will not think well of you for upsetting the apple cart.
Hello, what opportunities am I going to be afforded in the next few days?
Am I really going to miss out on my perfect job because my CV’s not up to scratch? No.
Is it imperative that I rush down to Debenhams before the end of the January sales to save 00s on a soft Alicanti three seater sofa? I seriously doubt it.
And as for upsetting the apple cart; I eat, sleep, cry and sh*t, that’s it. I don’t go round preaching to loved ones about what’s missing from their lives or that I think they’re drinking too much or that their credit card bill is out of control. That’s not my style, life’s too short.
So what I want to know is who buys into this rubbish, who gives people like Russell Grant and Sasha Fenton airtime – because it certainly isn’t me?
We’re going to this tonight. We predict it will be excellent.
Straight out of BC Juice Aleem is performing with DJ Moyma, Mad Flow and Blackitude. Saw ‘em at some BBC6 music thing and they were supremely skilled laser-tongued poets. And funny. We want to see ‘em again – even though it’s Christmas and our livers are screaming for mercy, Drinky Crow-style. Yeah, they’re that good… Plus it’s only a fiver – major deal, people.
It’s the most wonderful tiiiiiime of the year. Apparently.
We’ve decided y’all’ve been nice, not naughty, so you’re getting extra presents throughout December. We’ve got six ROBOT CHICKEN SEASON 4 PREMIERES – including a brand new Christmas special in Christmas week. Plus: Venture Bros and Aqua Teen Christmas specials. Oh, yeah, baby. Jingle those bells.
Robot Chicken Season 4 Premieres: Six new eps, twelve eps in total = mucho bird
Aqua Teen Hunger Force: 7 eps, including ‘Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past’ – the one where Carl is visited by the Cybernetic Ghost Of Christmas Past From The Future and learns that his house is built on an elfin graveyard thus causing his pool to fill with blood. Yeah, that one.
Metalocalypse: 7 eps including Dethrelease, the double length Season Two finale in Christmas Week
Superjail!: 5 eps, including ‘Time Police’ – the double episode Season finale in New Year’s week. Don’t watch this if you’re hitting the liqueurs. On iTunes December 7th
Venture Bros: weekly double bills, including the Christmas Special ‘A Very Venture Christmas’. Season Two on iTunes December 14th
Tim & Eric, Awesome Show, Great Job!: double bill every week. Awesome.
We’re going to Popcorn Comedy tonight – they asked us if we could get a goodie bag together to give away as a prize. Pretty sure they told us what it was for, but, to be honest, just as truth is the first casuality of war, short term memory is the first casualty of Christmas, so we have no idea what you have to do to win it. Turn up maybe?
We stamped the bag with the web address...
Anyway, here’s what’s in it:
Robot Chicken DVD Box Set
Rosy Apple sweets from the new M&S pick n mix dept
Bloody shower curtain, which we were meant to give away via Funny or Die UK, but we couldn’t get it together in time to coincide with our Horror Month theme in October …
Two very exclusive [adult swim] T-
...sadly they wiped off pretty much the minute we left the office - leaving this rather cryptic image
shirts. One that kind of combines Christmas, Twitter and evilness
A picture of a Toucan (we think. Who are we? Bill Oddie?)
Venture Bros Season One DVD (Hells, yeah)
Meatwad stressball (quite stinky)
Homemade Mighty Boosh wrapping paper
[adult swim] USB stick wristband thingy
Adult Swim calendar from the states – VERY RARE and collectible – if you’re thinking of Ebaying anything, this is the cheese, right here.
Adult Swim plastic bag from Williams St (authentically scuffed in Atlanta, GA)
Chocolate Champagne Bottle, as seen (soon) in the new Adult Swim Christmas continuity
Kid Robot Toy: Carl
Catnip. You can have it. It makes our eyes itch.
Goodie bag – lovingly drawn on by our head designer, using imagery he found hidden in some photoshop layers from Williams St.
DVD Screener from last year with loads of eps on it (and typed out list with no spelling mistakes whatsoever)
UPDATE
Needless to say, when we got there, we won our own goodie bag by proving we watch waaaaay too much YouTube. We guessed closest to the number of YouTube hits bestowed upon all the ‘innernet favourites’ voted for by the Popcorn comedy people. After much ado, ‘Tom & Anna’ were chosen as the new winners – something to do with a joke about lesbian millinery.
So yeah a good night. Although we’re still a bit traumatised after the Misery Bear Christmas Special…
Sandra (not her real name) writes:
A couple of days ago I decided to clear out my loft with a view to selling any unwanted items; the money was to go towards a cruise that my husband and I have been promising ourselves since his retirement 2 years ago. Having lived in the same house since our marriage 43 years ago (and me being a renowned hoarder) you can imagine what greeted me as I opened the trapdoor for the first time in over a decade. As I sifted through stuff that I hadn’t seen in years all the memories came flooding back; my son Brian’s computer and the dozens of games that he used to spend hours playing in his room, my husband Edward’s collection of Corgi cars and trucks – all pristine in their original boxes. The Star Wars figurines that my other son Edward Jnr. used to collect reminded me of how excited he’d been when my husband had taken him to see the film – when would that have been, 1978, 1979? Beano Annuals, vinyl LPs, school textbooks and reports, football programmes.
It was only when I opened an innocuous-looking shoebox that my trip down memory lane turned into a nightmare. In it I discovered old love letters written to my husband from a woman named Sue. They covered the best part of a decade between 1967 and 1975, when they suddenly stopped. I was in tears as I read about their illicit meetings, her repeated demands that he leave me – not to mention content of a frank sexual nature. I am still trembling as I write this letter; I am at a loss and really don’t know what best to do.
Dear Sandra,
My heart goes out to you, you poor girl. What must you be going through? But dry those tears because help is at hand. It’s called eBay. Thousands of items are sold on this online auction site every day, and it’s really simple to use. Just log on and you’re away. The demand for collectables has never been higher; people are willing to pay exorbitant prices for the things you describe. Those Corgi cars – still in their original boxes – and the Star Wars figurines; you could be sitting on a goldmine! Without seeing them I couldn’t give you an honest evaluation of the LPs, computer games or the football programmes, but nostalgia lives on and someone will have them. I’m afraid that the school textbooks are probably worthless, but what is it they say, you can’t put a price on a good education anyway?
If you don’t have access to a computer and the Internet (and why not?), car boot sales continue to thrive. For a nominal fee you can set up a small stall and sell, sell, sell. Check your local newspaper for details.
So, what are you waiting for? Something tells me that you and your husband will be booking that cruise sooner than you think!
We’ve explored the possibility of underwater colonisation in Sealab 2021, burrowed down to the centre of the earth in Saul of the Mole Men, we’ve even journeyed to the last junction of the superhighway in Fat Guy Stuck in Internet – are there any challenges left for Adult Swim, any voyages yet to be voyaged, souvenirs to be bought?
Yes, there’s one.
Throughout November we’re heading into space - the last frontier, the final hinterland.
Why we hear you ask.
Because it appeals to our desire to greater understand the solar system and therefore by extension ourselves? No, we’re not that deep.
Ok, how about because Laika the Soviet dog became the first animal in orbit in November 1957 onboard Sputnik 2? Tenuous at best.
What about because the first orbital gamma ray observatory was set up in November 1972? Nope, just got that out of Wikipedia a minute ago.
The truth is, we’ve got so many great clips, episodes and even series (Titan Maximum) on the subject of space that it only took us 5 minutes to come up with, discuss and then implement the month’s theme, and anybody with even a cursory knowledge of the great unknown appreciates that time and space are linked … in some eggheaded way.
2009: A Space Oddity, throughout November on Adult Swim; so simple we’ve already started working on Christmas.
Enjoy! 
*[we don't really think it's lousy - it's actually charmingly succinct. Also what's with the clock on your ipone, Dog? - Ed.]
Titan Maximum team Version 1.0
There’s lots of things we could say about Titan Maximum. But actually, these guys say it better.
Leon - more hubristic intelligent space simian than Stoopid Monkey
We’re just going to say ‘best monkey janitor EVER’
Titan Maximum – throughout November on Adult Swim.co.uk
Tell EVERYONE
